#CountdowntoBakerBoys: Opinions are like...Well, You know the rest!

“Don’t do this again”

Excuse me….

“Don’t do this again. Your family needs you.”

This is the response from my medical specialist when I told my pregnancy was a surrrogacy. (Melissa was out of town on business). I guess he was well intentioned thinking of the medical risks of carrying twins and wanting to keep me healthy for my own crew. However, It took me by surprise being that he's been practicing medicine longer than I've been alive. I'm quite sure he’s seen it all during his extensive career.

In the beginning I was apprehensive about revealing the surrogacy to people. I would literally say “I’m a surrogate.” Then wince waiting for the response. I noticed that reactions to my announcement have come in various forms. Mostly positive, thank God. I’ve been called an amazing woman. Others have promised me extra jewels in my crown when I get to heaven. Honestly, I’m just trying to make it in! Many express what a selfless gift I’m giving to the mother. It has initiated eye opening dialogue with others on many topics from infertility and medical advances to God’s will for people’s lives.

Unfortunately, all reactions have not been so positive. I notice some older people simply have a hard time wrapping their heads around it. Bless their hearts, lol. I had to explain to a nurse at least 5 times that I AM NOT the mother of the babies…that Melissa’s egg and donor sperm were fertilized and transferred to me. She couldn’t grasp how a black woman could carry white babies that are totally unrelated to her. I’m patient with them and answer the same question as many times as I need to ;-)

Explaining it family is the most nerve-racking because I care so much of their opinion. One family member insinuated I was doing this solely for money. “Since it’s not about the money, why don’t you do for free?” he chided. Maybe the discussion was his vain attempt to get me to examine my motives. Either way, I didn’t appreciate it. I can honestly say, if one my sisters needed my help. I’d absolutely carry for her and money would never come into the equation.

If money was the sole objective, I’d go get a 9 to 5 deskjob. Not turn my life, my family, and my body upside down. Carrying a baby presents all kinds of risks and inconveniences to the entire family that we are paid for. But please understand...This is a 24/7, life-changing experience helping a family realize their dream of having kids.

{Read Instagram's @c_ksmama response to the money question on my FAQ page}

‘I want to change the world in my own little way’. I told a close friend.

“How can you change the world by having a baby?” was his response.

Caught me off guard. Maybe he’s an insensitive man who doesn’t get it. Maybe he wasn’t thinking. Maybe he doesn’t understand how important the role of a mother and father are. Every great person past or present was shaped by their parents or those who acted as so. You never know who these babies may grow up to be and the impact they’ll have on this nation and world. I have to remember that even as I raise my own children. And I can say God used me to bring them here.

So, I cannot get caught up in what others think of my decision. I know in my heart I’m living out just one part of my destiny.